If Only I Could Disappear

By sana, 사나

3.6

CompletedkoreanWeb Novel

Genres

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drama fantasy romance

Chapters

129 chapters

Started

2022

Description

“…… Please allow me to receive the delegation alongside you, Your Majesty.” “No. There isn’t anyone that doesn’t know that I don’t have a shred of feelings for you anyways, so is there a need to put on an act?” The nobles covered their mouths with fans at the sight of the Empress being openly embarrassed by the Emperor but didn’t retract their gazes. Along with the fed-up Edmund’s unkind treatment, the courage that was squeezed out disappeared instantly, and Sotis bowed her head without saying anything. Sotis loved Edmund. But Edmund hated Sotis. “I have no intention of letting you go today.” “I’ve never asked you to let go of me. It’s alright if you make a mess, so hurry…” The Emperor, who’d made the Empress become an object of gossip for the nobles, sought his mistress’ embrace. Sotis felt miserable whenever she saw Edmund whispering affectionately to another woman. ‘Will everyone be happy if I disappear? Would it be alright if I disappeared? It’s just, if only I could disappear.’ *** Within the bedroom where the Empress slept quietly without waking, only a mage saw her wounded soul. As Sotis sat by the window, she seemed shy and embarrassed, while combing her long hair with a faint smile. “Even if you don’t lift a finger, there will definitely be someone that likes Your Majesty just the way you are.” Although it was her first meeting that mage, the mage responded to her innermost thoughts as though he knew about everything. “I’ll find a way. Just like how you saved me, I will also ensure that both of your feet will touch the ground once again.” The mage turned his back on the Empress, who was lying on the bed beautifully and whispered to the soul by the window every day, eventually managing to awaken Sotis’ physical body… “Tomorrow morning, we will declare our divorce. The reason for the divorce is your body’s poor condition, your soul’s instability, and your inability to carry on the family line.” Through a single mage’s utmost dedication, Empress Sotis was able to regain her body, but what she was faced with was the Emperor’s notice of divorce.

Publication Information

Original Publisher: blossom
Original Language: korean
Type: Web Novel

If Only I Could Disappear Review & Spoilers - Novel Translator

My Thoughts on If Only I Could Disappear

"If Only I Could Disappear" promised a dive into a world of aristocracy, arranged marriages, and a protagonist grappling with inner turmoil. While the premise intrigued me, my experience was a mixed bag, echoing sentiments I've seen from other readers.

First Impressions

Initially, I was drawn in by the European ambience and the potential for a poignant story. The setup, with a female lead navigating a difficult marriage and a life seemingly not her own, had all the hallmarks of a compelling drama. However, the early chapters felt a bit heavy, and the overall tone was undeniably bleak.

What Works Well

The author excels at creating a stifling atmosphere, effectively conveying the protagonist's sense of entrapment. The backstory is heart-wrenching, providing a reasonable explanation for her passivity, even if it can be frustrating to witness. The male lead's best friend seems to be a bright spot, offering a glimpse of hope amidst the dreariness.

Areas of Concern

My biggest struggle was connecting with the female lead's actions, or rather, her inaction. While I sympathize with her upbringing and the constraints placed upon her, I found myself growing impatient with her inability to stand up for herself. The constant exposure to the husband's point of view, particularly given his lack of redeeming qualities, also detracted from my enjoyment. It felt like too much focus was being given to characters I actively disliked. I also found the "virtuous" female lead to be a bit too much, as her kindness bordered on enabling poor behavior from those around her. It's a delicate balance, and I felt it tipped too far into passivity.

Final Verdict

"If Only I Could Disappear" has the potential to resonate with readers who enjoy slow-burn dramas with a heavy emphasis on character development and emotional exploration. However, the protagonist's passivity and the overall bleakness of the story may prove challenging for some. While the writing is competent and the world-building is intriguing, I ultimately found myself struggling to fully invest in the narrative due to the frustrating nature of several characters and the oppressive atmosphere. Proceed with caution if you're sensitive to stories featuring abuse, enabling, and gaslighting.

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